This is Zane Kowalski with highlights
from the Orange Bowl Stadium in Miami.
Wearing white jerseys we have the Army, with Navy in red.
So we have a first down for the sailors.
Center hike to Jim Hooper, Navy's all-star quarterback.
Let's go Army!
Navy six, Army zero as Army kicks to Navy.
It's a long, high kick almost to the 20 yard line,
received by number 45, Navy fastback.
And look at him go!
He's at the 50 yard line, down to Army's 30, 20,
he's going to score and there it is!
Yay!
Touchdown, Army.
That was an 80 yard run by this boy who was born
in Venice, Italy who holds the season league record.
Place your money on Army, take it from me,
I got inside information.
Navy's just a bunch of cripples.
Never got the point in beating a dead horse.
Now it's Army fighting back
and we have a first down on Navy's 10 yard line
and center hikes to Army's quarterback Casey Johnson
and he's going to run it.
He's across the 10 and it's Navy's fullback Bruce Navis
who blocks him
and he comes down with less than a yard to go.
What a game, ladies and gentlemen.
It's another first down for Army on Navy's foot yard line.
Center hikes number 12, Johnson gets the ball
to Donnie Brown and he fumbles it!
After a great season, Army seems to be falling apart.
Navy's in complete control of the game.
In 20 years of sportscasting I've never seen
such a one-sided contest.
What's eating you, Sister Suzanne?
You didn't want Navy to win, eh?
Oh Johnny, it's just that I bet 10 dollars on Army.
They told me it was a sure way
to raise funds for the orphanage.
Right.
It's better to bet on St. Joseph.
Gambling never pays, kid.
Is that for real, Charlie?
Don't you gamble?
Never.
People that gamble lose.
Personally I like to win.
This is no Sunday trip around the bay.
Those are moving and have been taking off
for hours.
The contest is now over.
Second and third place, .
He has the race in his back pocket.
Magnificent.
We're gonna win again.
Ah, wish I could be so sure, sir.
What do you mean by that?
What does he mean by that, Sullivan?
Look, our man's in front out there.
I know he's in front sir, but he hasn't won yet.
Hey , something ain't working,
the wrong guy's winning.
Get on it.
Hey, greaseball.
Something ain't working.
The wrong guy's winning.
You know what's gonna happen if the wrong guy wins.
No, I did everything like you told,
just wait to see.
We have an upset, folks.
Number 96 the favorite is out of the race.
It's a real pity his boat broke down, huh?
Favorite's out of the race.
Damn.
Where is he?
I'll kill him.
Come on out, let's see ya!
Hey, have you seen a guy in overalls
with grease on his face?
Why don't you go find a mirror?
Hey, I know you.
You're the guy who brought my boat down here, aren't you?
What's it to you?
What's it, someone's been fooling with the engine!
I couldn't care less.
Is that beans and onions?
No, it's fish and chips.
I like beans and onions.
Hey, you wanna flip a coin for it?
Heads I win, tails we share it.
I don't gamble.
What's more, I don't like guys that try to help themselves
to my beans.
Hey, wait a minute, you're the guy I'm looking for!
You're the turkey messed up my engine, aren't you?
Your beef is with those guys.
Stand aside, Samuel.
You were warned to keep your trap shut!
Hey just a second...
Mind your own business!
Hey, hey come back here!
That clown a friend of yours?
I don't have any friends.
Hey, that smells good.
Beans and onions.
I like beans and onions.
Sorry pal, they're mine.
I like beans and onions.
Come back here, you stop!
I'm gonna teach you to go messing around with my motor.
Excuse me Lieutenant, Admiral O'Connor wants
to speak to you sir, it's urgent.
Okay, here, put him in the brig.
Move it.
Let him .
Your personal record is impressive, Lieutenant.
Anapolis, graduated cum laude in infinitesimal calculus,
winner of last year's California Classic,
all-American football, interstate soccer.
Now I don't get this runner up in the inter-American
middle weight boxing tournament.
How come you didn't come in first?
Well sir, Carlos Muzon was first.
Oh, well.
Lieutenant, what I'm about to say to you is to be
considered top secret.
Now you're probably unaware that organized crime
has become a serious threat to the Navy sports program
in Florida.
Unfortunately the local police force is, well,
not up to our standards.
So we've decided to clear decks, Lieutenant,
and help out and our personnel computer has selected
you for the job.
It'll be risky, yes.
Now, you'll need someone who knows the ropes
and we found just the man to use to our advantage.
I've got a feeling I know him.
Well, we're off to a good start then.
Well he sure didn't look that pretty.
You mind if I?
Go right ahead Lieutenant.
Yeah, that's him.
Thanks so much, Charlie.
God will reward you.
If it were not for you,
I'd never be able to get around like this.
Ah it's okay, it's a pleasure, Sister.
Anything I can do to help you.
You're an angel.
I know.
Look, it's none of my business but even though the orphanage
is in financial difficulty,
when you get to the race track don't take a tip
from the first who comes along.
Make more selling rosaries.
The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
Yeah, so do horses when you get the right odds.
There you go.
Oh wait, Charlie!
Yeah?
How is it you never married?
Well, I, how about you?
Oh, well I married Christ.
You mean I should marry the boss?
Oh.
Right, he's not my type.
Bye, sister.
Bye!
Wave to Charlie!
Bye!
Okay, okay.
You getting hungry, eh?
Let me pop in this diner and get something to eat
just down the road.
Hiya, Bob.
Hiya Charlie.
You got any fresh fish?
Yes, we got fish.
He's been playing that same ball for the past 45 minutes.
Eh.
Give me 35 pounds.
35 pounds of fish?
You heard the man.
And I bet he wants it raw.
Raw?
Is that right, Charlie?
Yeah, I want it raw.
I also want a triple hamburger and three beers.
And cake with lots of whipped cream.
Funny, I didn't know that.
You didn't know what?
That raw fish goes with beer.
I would have chosen a nice chilled white wine.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hi.
Oops!
Good catch.
You like onions and beans, don't you?
Here you are, Charlie.
Here's your triple hamburger.
Nice.
Hey, how about that.
About what?
I'm up to eight million points.
Don't you think I deserve a discount for orange juice?
Yeah sure why not, 10 cents a glass.
Hey, you wanna bet a nickel...
I don't gamble, blue eyes.
I'll bet you a nickel that I can drink more orange juice
than you can squeeze.
That's impossible.
Impossible!
Come on, I'll bet you a nickel.
Okay, the bet's on.
I'm full, that's enough, Bob.
You win.
Here.
I'm going back to the pinball machine.
See that Charlie?
Anyway man, I should have doubled the stakes.
How many oranges you squeeze?
I don't know, about 10 I guess.
For five cents, you got a lot of smarts.
Oy vey.
Two of you stay here.
You two come with me.
Listen you half-assed little monkey, I've been told
you refuse to have one of our slot machines in your joint.
You're darn right, I got a pinball machine,
don't need one.
And pinball machines don't have our seal of approval.
Talk to them other guys.
Out of the way, you.
Hey sorry.
Hey, hey stop that!
Stop, please, you're breaking up my business!
How am I gonna explain that?
It's a rented machine!
You broke it, how am I gonna explain that?
Here you are, Bob.
Thanks, Charlie.
I really wish you hadn't done that.
It ain't fair to shove the little guy's face into the cake,
especially when the cake is mine.
Shh.
Shut up.
Talking to me?
Yeah.
It's a wiseass.
Stick 'em up.
Or you'll look like Swiss cheese.
You turkeys!
He's holding the pool cues on you!
Hey blue eyes, get me a cue ball.
Your nails are filthy.
Bad boy!
Let's get the hell out of here!
Alright already.
I just got smacked, come on, go go go!
Who put the phone box there?
Look over your shoulder, come on, come on!
We're making a getaway, this isn't
a demolition derby.
I forgot it wasn't a truck.
Hey, jackpot!
Now you can pay for the orange juice.
My name's Johnny.
My name's Charlie Firpo.
Charlie Firpo?
The famous Charlie Firpo?
The number one gambler on the Gulf Coast?
Pleased to meet ya!
The pleasure's all yours.
Bob, give me the fish.
Here you are, Charlie.
No, you don't have to do that.
Come on, take it.
Okay.
Mr. Firpo, would you mind giving me a lift to Miami?
I'm going there too.
How'd you know I'm going to Miami?
Huh?
'Cause that's where they have the aquarium
with the dolphin and you're transporting dolphins, so.
How do you know what I'm carrying in my rig?
How do I know?
Hmm.
By simple deduction.
I figured no matter how big and ugly you are
you couldn't possibly eat 35 pounds of raw fish.
You're really on the ball, ain't you?
Well.
How come you don't know I gave up gambling?
And I don't give lifts to strangers.
Have a nice walk.
Charlie?
Wanna bet you're gonna give me a lift?
I'll put up all I got from the slot machine.
That money's all for Bob.
To cover the damage.
You're right.
About your offer.
I took the pledge, gave up betting for good.
But this time I'll make an exception.
Oh yeah?
If you get me to give you a lift.
I promise you I'll swallow all 35 pounds of this raw fish.
That's a deal.
Okay.
Bye bye, blue eyes.
You don't like beans and onions?
Got the bags?
Sister I bet you knew I'd show.
Didn't you swear you wouldn't bet anymore?
Hi there.
Okay ball breaker.
You gonna get out by yourself or am I gonna throw you out?
I'm surprised at you, Charlie Firpo.
When a gambler loses he respects the rules
and I won the bet, didn't I?
I won the bet, didn't I?
Hold it!
Alright, I haven't got the heart.
Anyway, it isn't fair to deprive the dolphins
of their daily bread.
I mean daily fish.
Hey, they're saying the fish is not fresh!
Don't get mad, I'm just the interpreter.
I really speak their language.
Wanna see?
Hi there.
No kidding, she says your driving makes her seasick.
Have a nice day.
Listen blue eyes, you can talk to the trees
for all I care.
What I'd like to know is why are you sticking to me
like I was fly paper?
My gypsy granny used to say it's all written on your hand.
Let me see.
Aha.
Born under the sign of Taurus.
Irish father and unknown mother.
Bachelor, you're very shrewd and resourceful.
You've got a kind heart and you've got a scar
on your bottom.
Okay now you hear this, wiseguy.
You so goldarn smart then you oughta know
you're running one heck of a risk.
You quit polluting my environment.
Look, take it easy.
I'm not trying to be funny.
I'm trying to help you, Charlie Firpo.
Help me?
You bet.
Wanna know something?
No.
I'll tell you anyway.
I read on the palm of your hand
that one of these nights
they are going to steal your truck.
When it happens, don't go around saying I didn't warn you.
Now listen, this is between you and me.
Anyone tries to rip off my truck
and they're in for a big surprise.
Where are we?
For you it's the end of the line.
I'm tired, it's my turn to sleep now.
I got a long haul tomorrow
if I'm gonna keep my schedule to Miami.
Hey, what do you say to a round of poker?
This joints got to have a game going.
Get out.
You're on my pillow.
Get out, get out.
What am I gonna do now?
I'm wide awake?
Why don't you read your palm?
Great, thanks a lot pal.
You'll be sorry.
Beer please.
Hey there.
Hey yourself.
You're not from around here.
Are you going to play that beer?
You like dice?
Actually I like cards better.
Like poker.
Only I'm not very good at it.
Well you're lucky, rough stuff.
My name's Johnny.
I'm here with some friends right now.
They're playing poker, there's a red hot minute.
Bores the hell out of me.
But if you like, I'll introduce.
That's a good idea.
Let's go, baby.
Yeah, come to daddy.
Hey boys, got a friend here
who'd like to join in the fun.
I don't know.
I'm not very good.
Yeah well none of us is great shakes neither.
Have a chair, join the game.
- Dippo, Fingers... - Hi.
This is Bugsy, and I'm Nynfus.
And this is rough stuff.
Name's Johnny.
Thanks baby, now go back to the bar.
Okay.
Go ahead, deal him in.
See you later, rough stuff.
Name's Johnny.
Bring us some sandwiches.
Go ahead.
I meant cut the deck.
Oh yeah.
I got it!
What do I win?
The prize is you get to deal.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
Thank you.
Ouch!
Sorry.
Not to me, to the right.
Oh, sorry.
Thank you.
You gotta ante up first, eh?
$10.
I'll do it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Five, right?
Thanks.
Yeah, five.
Which is higher, ace or king?
The ace.
Thank you.
I'm out.
Four cards.
You won.
Oh yeah?
It's my lucky night, I can feel it.
How'd it go?
Huh?
Oh great.
I lost $1, 283. 30.
Yeah plus the $10,000 you still owe us.
I'm so sorry.
Look, I told you guys, I haven't got it.
Would you take an IOU?
Oh no, you're gonna pay in cash, right now.
'Cause if you don't, you're gonna end up
like Joe Damiro.
Remember Joe Damiro in his cement shoes?
Joe Damiro?
Not really.
I've always been bad with names.
Jog his memory.
Move your trousers, baby doll.
Hey now you guys, take it easy.
Listen to me.
I've got a truck outside that's worth much more
than $10,000.
Why don't I pay you off with that?
How do I know you're telling the truth?
Why sure, I saw a truck outside.
See?
Okay.
Now what you're gonna do is sign us
a transfer of ownership and don't forget
your phone number and the truck's registration.
Sure thing.
Oh yeah and make it out in favor to Nynfus Corporation.
Wait a minute, who's this corporation?
Bugsy, you're a jerk.
It's all yours.
Take this and put it away in the safe.
Hey you're a real crook.
Truck's worth twice what he owes.
What do you got rocks in your head?
Mind your own business!
Excuse me, but this beautiful young lady's
got a point there.
I mean, it's not a four wheeler.
Could you just give me a couple hundred dollars
so I could rent a car?
Okay.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Hey, just a minute.
I guess I should warn you I left a bum
sleeping in the cab of the truck.
I picked him up along the way.
If he should make a fuss, just throw him out.
Don't worry.
Thanks baby, I'll remember that.
And I'll always remember you, rough stuff.
What's wrong with Johnny?
It's an okay name I guess, just like rough stuff.
'Cause I think you're sweet.
I wonder what he's carrying in the trailer.
What's the difference?
We only want the truck.
Can I drive, boys?
Bugsy, you're a jerk.
This thing's worth about 40 grand.
Rise and shine buddy, let's get out of the truck.
It's okay officer, all the papers are in order.
Brakes, lights, all okay, goodnight.
Pull him out.
Hey you, out huh!
Why?
Why? He says why.
'Cause it now belongs to us and we want to take it home.
Hey...
'Cause it now belongs to us
and we wanna take it home, see?
Where?
He says where.
It's none of your business, now step out of there.
Move or I'll pull you out by the beard.
Getting very impatient.
You get the picture?
What's he doing?
First.
I'm sleeping and somebody wakes me up abruptly.
I always cry.
Second.
When I cry I get upset and when I get upset,
then I gotta get up.
And when I get up I get mad.
And when I get mad, I gotta get it out of my system.
If you didn't cry, it wouldn't get to you!
Oh, I'm sorry boss...
You're a jerk!
Hey you, wait a minute!
Right.
Wait a second.
See you around, Charlie Firpo.
Hey, where you going?
Hey, you can't do that!
My rig, my rig!
Yeah, easy for you to say.
Sure.
As least you're covered by insurance,
and the dolphins too.
How am I supposed to work now without my rig?
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw who it was.
The only thing I know is that his name is Johnny.
No, the guy is called Johnny.
There's at least 10 million people in this country
called Johnny.
Yeah, 10 million people.
Give me a beer.
Come on, cappy.
Hello?
Yeah.
Is there a big guy here named Charlie with a beard
who looks mad?
Just a minute.
Hey Charlie.
It's for you.
You wanna take it on the phone you just called from?
Yeah, who's speaking?
We have a collect call
for Mr. Charlie Firpo.
Are you Mr. Charlie Firpo, sir?
Yeah.
Will you accept the call, Mr. Firpo?
Who's calling me?
The party's name is Johnny.
No!
Uh yes, yes, give me Johnny.
Right away, deposit 50 cents, sir.
50 cents.
Hello?
Excuse me sir, 25 cents more, please.
Can't get away with nothing these days.
Hello?
Hello Charlie?
This is Johnny!
How are ya?
I'm going bananas.
Where's my truck?
Where are you?
And how'd you know I was here?
You're not carrying a grudge, I hope.
Who me?
No, I'm not mad.
I just want to give you a big hug, coochie coochie.
Now please, won't you tell me where you are?
Actually I'm not far from you, Charlie.
But if you want to see me, come to the
speedway, you know the record room?
Yeah.
Good, I work there.
You better be there.
Now please, please tell me where the rig is, tell me.
Sorry sir, you have to deposit six dollars and 25 cents.
Hello Charlie, bye Charlie, hope to see you soon!
Bye bye, Charlie.
Just a minute, please!
Operator, operator, operator!
Hey Johnny!
Johnny!
Just get my hands on him.
Hey the race is about to begin, pal.
I'll give you double your money.
How about it, baby?
Yeah, alright.
I'll tell you what, give me 20 bucks on 43.
Just to place.
You've got it.
Hey, you need a mechanic?
I could fix any kind of car.
We don't fix cars here, we smash 'em up, buddy.
I'm the best wrecker in the business.
Yeah, you wanna drive for my team?
My best boy broke his leg this morning.
Give you $50.
Just be sure you don't win.
Come on, I'll show you the car,
we've got about 10 minutes.
What's 32 pay?
Five to two.
$50 to win.
143.
No one's betting on you today so we souped up
your machine.
You'll be impossible to beat.
The boys have spoken to the other drivers.
The track'll be like cruising down the freeway.
You get one of these when you win, okay?
It's fine with me.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lou Spurling
giving you a great welcome from the Speedway.
We have two minutes to start time of today's
demolition derby and these cars are all
high-performance machines.
Yeah, it looks like it's gonna be a great race.
Cars are out on the track, just about to complete
the promotion lap.
And here they come, past the stands,
they line up on starting grid.
With just under 60 seconds to go.
And we have a latecomer, number 26,
sponsored by Tom's Tires.
Grabbing a space in time for the lineup.
Hey, you miserable little runt!
Where's my rig?
Oh say, it's Charlie Firpo!
I'm glad to see ya!
Now darnit I asked you a question,
where's the dolphins and my rig?
Oh, I turned 'em loose!
You know, I felt sorry for 'em.
Start of the race.
First turn, number 26 making a bid for fifth,
he's got it, sixth place, number 37, right behind 26
who's moving up on third place followed by 37.
Bumper to bumper, 26 has the lead,
look out he's sideways, he's gonna lose it.
37 is gaining ground, moving up on the outside.
They've left the traffic behind.
Okay blue eyes, where's my rig?
What?
My rig!
What?
I'm warning you, where's my rig?
You drove off in it.
Oh, your truck.
I lost it playing poker.
You know how it is.
Easy come easy go, Charlie.
What were you doing gambling with my truck?
I want something to win and buy one myself
and work with you!
Great idea, blue eyes.
26 is staying right with him,
you'd think they were married.
Hey, you know .
Look at that 37!
What the hell is going on?
Don't ask me, you were the one that told him
he should lose.
58 is trying to put up a challenge
but he ain't got a snowball's chance in hell.
This is neck and neck.
Did 37 get the word?
Hey I told him boss, just like you said.
That 26 was to win.
This is a double-cross, someone'll pay.
37 is back in first place.
26 is pulling back on the track.
He comes past the stands with seven laps to go in this race,
it's 37 out in front, he's about all sewed up.
It's 26 and he's driving his heart out.
Moving up the track, passing one car after another.
33, seven, moving up towards 62.
Coming around out of control,
they're all taking the curve.
26 just keeps moving up, look at him go.
He's fourth, he's third, he's second, he's right
on the bumper of 37!
And he makes another turn.
They're running neck and neck!
Hey, meet me off the track and I'll kick your ass
.
I'm ready.
37 is taking no slack.
How long can he keep up this pace?
Wait a minute, where they going?
Stop, stop!
Let's go get him.
Alright fatso, now I'm gonna trim you down to size.
Look out, it's an earthquake!
Hey, that fat ox made you lose.
Why you taking his side?
That fat ox, huh?
That fat ox happens to be my brother.
You have pistachio?
Pistachio's melted.
Tutti frutti or caramel toffee.
Tutti frutti.
Charlie, how could I tell you right away
I was your brother?
You might have, you might have held it against me.
I wanted us to be friends first.
You know, you always blame me, you always blame me
'cause our father left your mother to marry mine.
Nice guy, your father.
Like a sailor with a woman in every port.
Hey!
How could you say such a think about our papi?
Know what?
I've done some figuring.
I only need to sell 137 million of these.
Thank you, kid.
Before I raise enough for the down payment.
Why wait, Charlie?
I mean, a guy like you, a real genius at cards.
You got it made.
In one month you can make enough money
to buy yourself 10 trucks.
Gambling's for suckers.
The house want you to drop a bundle it don't matter
how good you are.
I got an education.
When I was dealing in that casino for Paragoulis.
The Greek in Havana.
Your eyes would have turned green at the crookings.
I smashed everything there to little pieces and left.
I heard you broke The Greek's nose, too.
Hey.
Pass me a cone, will you?
Tutti frutti or caramel toffee?
Pistachio.
Pistachio melted.
Vanilla, tutti frutti, caramel toffee,
bitter egg, and coffee.
Okay, then give me a vanilla cone with pistachio.
The pistachio melted.
Vanilla, caramel toffee, tutti frutti,
bitter egg, and coffee.
Okay look, just give me a chocolate cone
with a little pistachio.
What are you, deaf?
The pistachio's melted and I didn't say chocolate.
Wow, don't get so excited.
I was just asking.
Alright, what do you have again?
We have vanilla, tutti frutti, caramel toffee,
bitter egg, and coffee.
Oh I got it.
Then give me a big mix, grandma.
Tutti frutti, caramel toffee, vanilla, bitter egg,
and coffee.
Tutti frutti.
Hey, don't forget the pistachio.
Hey salami, guess what I got for you?
Oh, thanks.
I thought you said it melted.
I changed my mind now.
What'd you say?
I said I love pistachio.
Bet your sweet ass.
You know everything about me.
Let's hear a little about you.
How come you learned to converse with the fishes?
Well I've done just about everything.
I've been a waiter, salesman, dockworker,
shoe repairman, mason, halfback, I've been...
Instructor, yeah, I know, jack of all trades,
master of none.
I had to do it.
I had to do it for papi.
You walked out on him.
Who do you think took care of him?
Don't speak to me about him.
Made life miserable for me and mama.
Lousy bum couldn't even get a job.
10 years ago I walked out on him.
So help me one of these days he crosses my path again,
I'll show him.
Save your breath.
You won't be able to show him anything no more.
Why?
'Cause...
Come on, why?
'Cause papi's blind now.
I sold it to pay for an eye operation for him,
that's why I stole it, Charlie.
But then I lost all the money gambling.
I must have been taken by every shark
from Mexico to Florida.
Hey, there he is.
Where did he learn those words from, your mother?
Believe me, I've always done my best to give him
enough to live on.
But he wants to sing.
It makes him feel he's on his own.
He's hard-headed.
He thinks he has a nice voice.
Papi!
Who's that, my boys?
Papi!
My boys, my boys!
Hi Papi, I brought you Charlie!
It's me and Charlie!
My boys, my boys!
Charlie, Charlie, it's Charlie, oh Charlie
you feel more like your mother every day.
Oh Charlie, Charlie, my boys.
Come on, come on!
Charlie's right, Papi.
You'll be happy here.
Everything is so beautiful.
I only wish you could see it.
Sister Suzanne will take good care of you.
And Johnny and me'll find a way to raise the money
for your eye operation, don't you worry.
Thanks, Charlie.
You see what those bastards done to me?
Charlie, that's when he went blind.
After they beat him up.
And only because I'm your father.
I'll give you back your sight, Papi,
if it's the last thing I ever do.
How much this operation cost?
Oh not much, $100,000.
$100,000?
Does that including green stamps?
It's a very difficult operation.
Besides, Papi wants blue eyes,
and you know blue eyes cost more.
Hey Papi, how about some other color?
You see just as good, eh?
It's that or nothing.
Like father, like son.
Ah, the prettiest nun since Jennifer Jones.
In For Whom The Bell Tolls?
No, that's Gary Cooper.
Hiya, Sister.
I thought you'd all like some tea.
Let me pour you a cup, Mr. Firpo.
No no no no, I want to serve myself.
I'm self-sufficient.
Certainly are, Papi.
Here, let me help you.
This is the teapot.
And this is the cup.
Now there you are.
Hold the cup nice and steady.
Is it good and hot, Sister?
It is?
Ah, Papi, Papi!
That's it, that's fine.
Milk or lemon?
Lemon, lemon.
Let me do it, let me do it, let me do it.
Papi, please.
I think it's better somebody else squeezes your lemon.
Oh I do hope your father can stay here until
the operation because as I told you
in about a month we will have to move from here.
How we gonna raise $100,000?
That ain't easy in the best of times.
We'll make it, Charlie.
'Cause we'll do it together, like brothers.
Papi, Charlie will teach me to become
as great a gambler as he is.
We'll go to all the legal gambling spots in town.
And if that isn't enough to make the $100,000 we need,
Charlie can always introduce me to Paragoulis The Greek.
He's the one who roughed up Papi, you know.
He knows where he hangs out, don't you?
Yeah, well, yeah, I know where he is,
but you don't know Paragoulis The Greek.
He's too much for you to handle, he's dangerous.
Nothing is too dangerous for the Firpo brothers.
And Papi's worth it, right?
Okay, okay, so okay, we win enough for the operation.
And a new truck for me.
And after that we quit, right?
Right, right good.
And Papi loves Firpo brothers.
Right!
Bye bye.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
I'm happy to be able to return the favor
after all you've done for me.
We will take good care of him.
Come on, Mr. Firpo, I'll show you to your room.
Thanks.
This way.
But I can get out of here sometimes can I?
I mean quite often?
Of course you can, Mr. Firpo,
this is not a prison.
Ah, that is exactly what I wanted to hear.
Oh, and Sister?
Yes?
Could I please have a television set in my room please?
Of course you can.
What did you say?
A television?
Oh yes, I love to listen to the dog races on TV.
Now here's what we do.
Sixth race we bet $100 on a favorite.
But shouldn't we pick a horse that gives better odds?
The race is fixed.
If you want to learn, don't ask questions.
Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.
See the guy in the checked jacket?
That's what's called a bookie.
At racetracks they come out of the woodwork.
And they all work for the syndicate.
Now I will approach one of them and put the $100
on the favorite.
Then we make sure the favorite wins.
You wait here.
Hiya Charlie, it's good to see you again.
Can I buy you a drink?
I'm gonna show my friend that betting with you
is better than at the window.
Good.
You're gonna take $100 on Lightning Rod, number seven.
And instead of two to one, I'll take 11 to one.
11 to one?
Yeah.
Okay, but what should I do with this ticket?
Why don't you eat 'em?
Eat 'em?
Yeah.
A beer.
Hey there.
Hey yourself.
What are you doing here, betting on the nags?
Only on the ones that win.
I got a sure tip for you.
There's a killing to be made on the sixth race.
Lightning Rod.
No, Lightning Rod's the favorite, but he won't win.
Bet on Cookie, he'll come in first, it's all taken care of.
They had a word with the jockeys, if you understand.
Thank you.
Catch you later.
Yeah, you bet.
It's just like you said,
they're clamoring to put money on Lightning Rod,
over 50 grand so far.
What'd you expect, he's the favorite.
You bet he's the favorite.
And that nag had better not win,
or we'll be up the creek.
Don't worry, the driver knows the life of his little
baby's at stake.
He'd break the horse's legs first.
Why don't we go now?
What do you mean, go?
If we hurry we just have time to throw ourselves
under the Miami New Orleans express.
The tracks are about 50 yards from here.
What is it, you think that's funny?
Come on.
You think it's funny?
That you're gonna lose all the cash we have to our name?
My fairy godmother just gave me a hot tip.
Lightning Rod is not gonna win.
Yeah?
Well you wait and see who's gonna win.
Well, what do you want?
Lightning Rod's driver.
Hold on a second.
Hey, are you Lightning Rod's driver?
Yeah, why?
You're wanted on the telephone.
Jeez, I hope nothing's happened to the kid.
Hello?
Who's calling?
Hello, hello?
Just sit back, leave the driving to us.
Hey, that doesn't look like Lightning Rod's
usual driver.
Sure it's him, what do you think it is?
Hey, what you smiling at?
I'll smile at whatever the hell I want to.
They're lining up behind
the starting line folks
for this evening's sixth race.
Look at those drivers, they're all...
Hey buddy, you're not Sam Stallion.
Of course I'm Sam Stallion, don't you recognize me?
I'm not that stupid, you're not Sam!
Why don't you call me and see if I answer you?
Hey Sam hi.
Oh hi!
See?
And they're off and running!
The favorite, Lightning Rod, is on the inside.
Lightning Rod seems to have gotten himself boxed in.
Cayenne Pepper's still at the front, followed by .
Positions are unchanged as they go into the first turn.
is challenging Cayenne Pepper.
There's quite a tussle going on out there.
In the back stretch it's still anybody's race.
But now it's Lightning Rod is making his move.
He's gaining gradually from the inside.
Cayenne Pepper has broken stride.
Lightning Rod's alongside to
and he's taking the lead.
Come on, come on!
Shut up!
Come on!
You shut up!
Hey, what's that fool up to?
Hey!
Hold him back, Sam!
I can't help it, he's going too fast!
Hey, you're going too fast!
is fighting back.
With Lightning Rod...
Hey boss, I took a bet on that horse for 11 to one odds.
11 to one?
You jerk, Bugsy!
What are you picking on me for?
It was you said Lightning Rod was going to get beat.
But look!
Home stretch it's still lightning rod
with fighting all the way.
But Lightning Rod isn't taking any chances.
And as they past the post...
Hey!
Go to the house of that dumb bastard Sam Stallion,
you know what to do.
And if he ain't there then give it to his baby.
Understand?
Let's go.
Now what were the odds you said you gave
on Lightning Rod?
11 to one.
One, two, three, four, five, six...
You heard what the boss said about if he's not there.
And the boss's orders are the boss's orders.
You go up and get the baby.
Hey George, there's something here
that ain't quite kosher.
Stop being a turkey.
Throw the kid out the window
and let's get out of here.
You ever picked up a kid before?
Ready?
Coochie coochie coo.
Hey George, doesn't that kid
look like someone we know?
All babies look alike.
Next time pick on a kid your own side.
Got that?
Head for the royal flush.
Then comes four of a kind.
Then a full house, three of a kind, two pair, and a pair.
You remember where the ordinary flush and straight go,
right?
Now what's that?
Four of a kind.
Hey, that's a pretty good hand.
In more ways than one.
What else, master?
Then you got IF.
I never heard of that.
The luck factor.
When lady luck decides you're high on a list
and you ain't a bad player, nobody can beat you.
Let me see now.
In American poker using all 52 cards with no jokers,
you've got one point 75 probabilities in a million
of coming up with the royal flush.
Three point 75 four of a kind,
11 point nine for a straight.
64 for a full house, 186 for three of a kind.
275 for a pair, but none of it is of any use
unless you've got the IF.
How's that, Mr. Firpo?
Arithmetic ain't my strong point.
Let's see your money, boys.
Here's two tens.
Ah baby come to daddy.
Hey Mike Firpo.
You seem pretty happy.
You see that?
I won!
Yeah but you're playing in our territory.
Go on.
Hey, your blind stuff won't work with me.
Now we told you to keep out of here.
Well yeah.
I'll raise you two bananas.
Hey.
That's Papi.
Oh come on, that's impossible.
Well take a look, there he goes!
There he goes!
He's gotta be down here, I know I saw him.
Let's take a look.
But I think you're nuts, Charlie.
I don't see him, but I know I saw him.
Come on Charlie, I've still got a lot to learn.
Gosh darnit I tell you I'm sure I saw him.
Let's go back upstairs, huh?
Come here, come here!
Now who were you running after?
You were running after our papi.
Come on, knock it off.
You know our father's blind.
Don't go telling me the old coot's...
Whatever you're doing that'll teach you not to do it, huh?
Right Charlie?
Oughta be ashamed of yourselves.
Listen blue eyes, if you and Papi are putting me on,
I'll smash your face.
Go on, why don't you say what you really mean?
That you don't believe your own flesh and blood?
Your own,
your own father.
Give you your most precious gift, your existence.
And you don't even believe me.
Your own brother!
Was trying to help you find a purpose!
Your aimless, empty, wasted life!
See he really made me catch a cold.
Are you happy now?
Well, I...
That's okay.
Let's just keep our minds on how we can make the money
we need, come on, Charlie.
I know there's so much more you can teach me.
Let's go back upstairs and start all over again, okay?
Sweat blood to put this little stake together.
Now we're gonna use it.
You take it and bet it all on the guy I told you too.
Sure okay, Charlie.
I'll see ya.
Okay, let's go.
Hey, where's the famous Jai Alai world champion?
Jamon Serrano?
Charlie Firpo?
Hey, amigo!
Hola amigo mio.
Hey, caught you with your girdle off, eh?
Ah, don't make fun of me, I'm not what I once was
when you and I played together.
Look what I have to do to look younger.
Ah, you look terrific.
I know.
To tell the truth I can hardly follow the ball anymore,
it's kind of embarrassing.
But it's not all my fault.
Had plebitus in the leg here, touch of arthritis.
Arthritis?
Here, tell me the good news over one of these.
I think tonight'll be my last match.
They hire me because I'm a clown.
But the time has come to give it up.
No more pelota, getting too old.
Don't give me that.
Tomorrow all the papers'll be talking about you
just like in the good old days.
How I wish.
But the bookies are giving 10 to one odds,
you know what that means.
Would you believe my brother's betting $50,000 on you?
$50,000?
Your brother's loco, you better get him to the nut house
right away.
Yeah, I know, he's been that way for years.
I'm the guy they gotta watch.
Would you please make an offering for the orphans?
Thank you very much.
Would you please, an offering please?
Will you make a donation please?
Hey.
Fine, I'm coming.
Go inside.
Hey there.
Want a candy?
Hey, rough stuff.
I'm really glad to see you again.
I'm glad to see you too.
By the way, thanks for the tip you gave me
at the race track, remember?
I do the same for all my friends.
Hey those guys over there are your friends, huh?
Not in the sense you mean.
I belong to me.
You'd be the only one I could really go for.
Oh really?
I'll remember that.
What are the odds on Jamon Serrano?
10 to one.
Well, I'm gonna put the whole wad on him, $50,000.
Are you crazy?
Jamon Serrano's finished, he's run down.
Nobody bets on him.
Nynfus and the gang are giving those odds
'cause they know he won't win.
Well I like risks.
Ha ha.
Hey, remember me?
Hey, wanna place a bet?
Yes sir.
One minute to game time,
take your seats, ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're coming up to the last match
of this evening's main event.
Players are on the court.
And in first post we have number 24, Arrina Padilla.
Post two, number 32, Mendez Killer Jose.
Post four, number 50, Ruez El Toto.
Post five, number 42, Salazar.
Post six, number 45, Primero.
Post seven, Gonzalez.
And at post three, Ramon Jamon Serrano,
just as colorful as always.
Post eight, number 51, Luis Del Rey.
There you are ladies and gentlemen, let's start the match.
The first encounter is between Arrina in red
and Mendez in light blue.
In this particular contest, the individual player
gains points by outplaying and eliminating his opponent.
And the first match has begun.
Players must throw the ball, or pelota, in such a way
that his opponent cannot return.
And there you have it, Arrina is the loser.
Now, Mendez must face Ramon Jamon Serrano
in the white jersey.
Terrific throw by the veteran Serrano
eliminates Mendez.
In spite of his courageous attempt to recover the ball.
Now out on the court comes Ruez El Toto.
As you may know, the ball can bounce off the end
and side walls, but can only bounce once on the floor
before it must be returned by the opposing player.
After a fine volley, Ruez fails to return the ball.
Number three wins again.
He now has two points and it's one time world champion
Salazar, he gets the ball off the wall
and returns it at high speed, but Serrano
curls it back into play.
Salazar goes up on the wall again but loses his balance.
Outclassed.
Serrano now has won three games, he faces Carlo Primero.
Primero goes up but can't reach high enough
and Jamon Serrano wins his fourth straight game.
Now it's Gonzalez's turn to try and stop
this amazing winning streak.
Serrano continues to win and now has five points.
He must now face Luis Del Rey.
This is sensational!
Ramon Serrano, the Jamon, has proved he can still win!
He's done it!
He's won the match!
He is the new champion!
Jamon!
Bravo!
Hey hey!
But tonight he has come back
to beat some of the world's best players.
So Serrano ain't worth a dime but with his ,
his beer drinking, his slipped disk.
But you Bugsy, you're a jerk, a numbskull,
you got a pea brain Bugsy.
The wager's gonna cost a half a million dollars.
And who's gonna break the news to The Greek?
I will.
Just take me to his place and I'll be glad to tell him.
I'll put up $500,000 you owe me for this match
in a poker game, but I only want to play with him.
Paragoulis The Greek.
Huh?
Hey listen boss.
You know, this guy's a real nerd at cards.
Remember when we played with him before?
He lost his shirt.
Believe me, against The Greek he won't even have a chance
at winning.
He's right you know.
The boss'll take him to the cleaners
and he'll lose it all anyway.
It's a deal.
Consider yourself invited to The Greek's.
For a friendly little family game, alright?
Would you mind giving me the money first?
Pay him.
$100,000.
200, 300, 400, 500.
Everything is going as planned.
Lieutenant Firpo is close to pinpointing
the location of The Greek, the man we've been after,
thanks to the help he's had from his father, Mike Firpo.
Admiral, as you requested, we arranged to have
the police drop the charges against Firpo's father.
They were after him for everything from bouncing
bad checks to raising mayhem.
Raising mayhem?
I thought you got a medal for that.
Admiral O'Connor.
Hello?
I'm calling for Johnny Firpo.
He said to tell you that he's on his way
to the place he has been looking for
and that you should follow him
as you had arranged to.
No, that's all he said.
You're welcome.
Hiya Sister.
Oh, hello Charlie.
You seen my brother around here?
Oh yes, he said to say hello to you.
He won a lot of money.
He gave me enough for...
Hey what are you doing?
Put that .
Anything else?
Oh yes, he also said to give you this note.
How are you, Charlie?
I'm gonna put up all the money we won
in a poker game since you're my master.
I bet I beat the pants off The Greek.
You and Papi and Sister Suzanne and the orphans too, huh?
Please root for me?
Thanks.
Yours forever, your brother.
PS, don't get mad, huh?
Good news?
Very bad news.
He's alive.
But?
This way, we're taking a boat ride.
Where we going?
Didn't you tell me you wanted to play with Paragoulis?
Well let's go.
There's still time.
For what?
To pull out.
I'll jump in the water, you jump into save me,
we'll swim back to shore and then you beat it.
What do we have to do all that for?
'Cause I don't want you ruined.
I saw how you play, like a baby.
Paragoulis is the biggest card shark around.
Listen to me, rough stuff, just keep your money and beat it.
Your plan wouldn't work, baby.
But I like the part about the mouth to mouth resuscitation
to save your life.
Well, no need for that.
Hey, what are those two doing?
Bugsy, you know what you are?
Yeah, I'm a jerk.
Hey, looks like we got a big bird in the sky
for an escort.
Navy command, navy command, this is
condor eight zero two zero, calling navy command.
Admiral, the launch is going outside
territorial waters.
So it's impossible to pursue any further.
Damnit.
Now we can't intervene.
The launch has gone outside territorial waters.
That means Lieutenant Firpo will find himself
alone without help in the hands of the underworld
somewhere at sea.
Our whole plan will fail.
You listen to me, friend.
Never trust people that got blue eyes.
Never.
Especially if they your brother.
Get on the line.
They got here.
Nice place, huh?
After you.
And we have 24, black, even.
Sorry about that ma'am.
I'd like to play just black this time.
Okay.
Let's stay here for a minute, please.
There you are, sir.
Two was the last number, right?
Yes, two was the last number.
Right.
That's 100 on 11 please.
One two three four five.
Okay, $10,000 on the nine.
The and dust.
$3,000 on the column and $2,000 on red.
Watch this guy, he's really something.
No more bets please.
Here we go.
And we have a nine!
Not bad, eh?
I'm a wizard in infinitesimal calculus.
I just worked out the probabilities.
Thanks ma'am.
What number should I play now?
Please advise me.
Well you have to wait for your mathematical probability
to come around again.
And with this wheel it'll be in 90, 822 turns.
What do you mean I have to wait that long?
Just have to be patient.
This the creep who won all that money
which you guys owe to me?
Yeah, that's him.
He's trying to bankrupt us.
He won a half million at pelota
and now 154,000 in one go at roulette.
On board my boat no one is allowed
to get away with that.
Some way he must be made to understand
that winning will be very bad for his health.
I've been doing some thinking, boss.
You know that guy is real lucky when it comes
to picking winners.
But when it comes to playing poker
he's a babe in arms.
While you are the sharpest in the whole world.
And in outer space.
In the whole universe, boss.
Okay, we clip his wings in poker.
Call him.
Nice truck.
I had a truck once too.
Nice truck.
But my brother stole it.
My brother stole my truck.
Your brother took your truck?
Yep.
You're lucky.
My brother took my wife.
I'm glad to make your acquaintance, Johnny Firpo.
That is your name, isn't it?
A name that's not completely new to me.
Not as new as that nose of yours
that my brother Charlie rearranged for you.
So you're Charlie Firpo's brother?
You bet.
He's strong with cards and tough with his fists.
But they tell me you're better at cards.
That right?
Well I have learned to play the game, Mr. Paragoulis.
Well now we'll see.
Cut.
A grand.
A full pot makes me hot.
I hate smart remarks when I play poker,
they make me very nervous.
Me too.
I'm in.
How many?
The pot's still light.
Three cards.
The same.
One.
Take three.
Anybody want a bite?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
It's a six, I can do it with my eyes closed.
See that?
Now I will show you Firpo's most famous shot.
Known as the Firpo double whammy which succeeds
only one time in a hundred
and I'm gonna do it backwards.
Charlie!
I can see you!
Charlie!
I can see you!
Yes!
It's a miracle!
It's a miracle, Charlie!
A miracle, eh?
A miracle!
Hey man, what are you doing to my place?
Shut up.
It was a favor for Johnny.
I've had enough!
Charlie, what are you doing?
I was happy driving my truck.
Go find blue eyes.
Straight.
Ah shit.
I'd sure like to know how the hell you managed
to win all the time.
I got a whole orphanage praying for me.
10.
No shame in a friendly game.
Just stop with the wisecracks, they're not funny
and we're not amused.
Me neither, me neither.
How many cards?
Four.
Three.
Two.
And the dealer takes three.
Two grand.
I'll raise you double.
I'm out.
Double again.
Ah, alright.
I'll see you.
Full house.
Ah, good hand.
Excuse me, excuse me.
I've got a five, a six, a seven, an eight, and a nine.
All hearts.
I guess that beats a full house, huh?
Right?
I don't believe it.
You took four cards, how did you do it?
Don't ask me, ask the orphans.
Let's play again.
Okay.
Cut.
Well, what are we gonna play for?
I put up the boat, the casino, and everything
that goes with it.
But first, you'll have to excuse me for a double P.
What's that?
A double P.
Pee pee.
I'll be back in a flash.
Excuse me.
Would you hold this please?
Thank you.
There you go.
You know it's not that I don't trust you folks.
I always do this.
Thank you.
Oh.
Hey, where is everybody?
Sleeping.
Already?
Yeah.
Hey!
Thank you.
Gonna wait for me?
Wouldn't want you to get lost.
Oh, did you want to come in?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Hey, what's going on?
Aren't you guys gonna play?
No, Johnny Firpo.
Why not?
'Cause now it's just between us two.
One to one, face to face.
And we're gonna play five card stud, alright?
Sure, that's fine with me.
Get out.
Good luck.
Thanks, baby.
Should we put a value on this old tub?
This old tub cost me more than a million dollars.
You got ripped off.
I've always had a pretty good nose for a deal.
Maybe, before you met my brother.
Let's say it's worth half a million.
The top on the first card, you won't have much left
for the others.
Hey!
When I give you the signal, cut me loose!
Alright my boy, but be careful!
Your pants.
What?
Your pants.
You're bluffing.
You can't be serious.
You've got to be bluffing.
If you want to see you got to pay
and you're short $3,000.
And $3,000 for a pair of pants is not a bad deal.
What else have you got?
The upper hand.
Ho ho ho.
Let me see.
That's not enough.
This isn't worth more than $300.
Come on, come on, your pants.
What are you guys waiting for?
Throw him to the sharks!
Hey, hold it, hold it, take it easy, guys.
Let's not get uptight about a little game between friends.
I'll tell you what, Mr. Paragoulis.
What if we do it this way?
You take me to shore on this nice beautiful boat
and you can have it all back.
It's all yours, here, it's all yours, Mr. Paragoulis.
First I want to see if you were bluffing.
Push the joker in the water.
Geronimo!
Hey, look who's here!
Charlie's here.
Shut up.
Peace.
What a nice surprise!
Did you come to gamble?
I come to get a pair of blue eyes for our papi.
Great punch.
Charlie.
Johnny.
Now take it easy Charlie, calm down.
I know when you're nervous it's hard for you
to understand but let me explain, I can explain everything.
Charlie, remember when we were kids,
united we'd stand and divided we'd fall?
And remember how together we used to beat everybody, right?
Huh?
Oh gosh, I'm sorry, don't get mad.
Not again, poor guy.
It's just not my day.
Hey buddy.
Yeah?
Are you fighting yourselves or against us?
You didn't get it yet?
No.
I'll explain it to you.
Good.
It's your lucky night.
One for you, one for you.
Hey, buzz off.
My hand slipped.
Hey I want to show you something.
Hey, come up to the bar, it's on me.
Hey, what do you want?
Coke.
This okay?
Yeah, it's fine.
Hey, slim, you keeping your nails clean?
Don't worry, I'm not going to use this.
Look.
Let's see.
Oh, that smarts.
You want a hit?
Yes please.
Thank you very much.
Hey Greek, wait a minute.
Forgot this.
Learned your lessons, have you?
Nothing like working together, huh?
Yeah, behind you.
Hey.
Watch out.
You'd think they'd have learned, wouldn't you?
Why don't you hit him?
That one?
Let's get 'em all up.
Nice going.
Hey, Nynfus, come here.
Yeah sure, sure.
Now the joker's on the table.
Folks will you look at that, forgot one.
Hold on friend, help is on its way.
You'll never get the boat to land.
Who says?
He's right, we gotta find a way to get this tub
back to land.
Huh.
No we don't.
Okay men, get them on their feet
and get them out of here.
Hey, how'd you do that?
Simple.
Actually it was them, I only told them what to do.
What were you guys talking about?
Why don't you learn how to speak dolphinese?
It comes in handy on occasions like this.
I also speak turtlese, crocodilese, hippopotomese.
Hey rough stuff.
Oh hey.
Hi.
Hey yourself.
Here's a souvenir.
Thanks.
Come see me in the clink?
I don't have to do that.
I'm gonna pay your bail and take you out to dinner tonight.
What do you say, huh?
That sounds even better.
Johnny.
See you later.
My boys!
Johnny!
And Charlie!
I'm proud of you.
Admiral, I hope you keep your promise.
Admirals always keep their promises.
And I wanna make one thing clear.
This mission would not have been successful
without the help of your son Charlie Firpo
to whom the United States Navy wishes to offer
a brand new truck.
And it's got the works.
CB radio, automatic shift, radial tires, you name it.
As for your other son, there'll be a decoration.
Congratulations, Lieutenant Firpo.
What's this, Lieutenant Firpo?
You putting me on?
No, not this time, Charlie.
Admiral, I'd like to make a last bet with my brother, sir.
A bet?
Gentlemen, what do you say we look over this ship?
Okay.
Let's make the bet of a lifetime.
We got a cool million dollars between us,
all from gambling.
What do you say we flip for it?
Heads or tails?
Boys, boys, what about me?
What about me?
What about your poor old father who loves you so?
Don't worry, don't worry papi.
I'll decide how we do this.
Heads it's all for you, okay?
Uh huh.
Tails it's half for Papi, half for me.
If it's neither heads or tails, it all goes
to Sister Suzanne and the orphanage.
Deal.
Papi, you flip it.
Like you used to do on the beach when we were kids.
Okay boys.
You see that?
Neither heads nor tails, it all goes to the orphanage.
How did you do that?
You know what that was?
Jonathan Livingston Firpo.
* When I wake up in the morning
* I find out that I'll be crying all night long
* As I cross the doorway
* I realize I'm down in the street
* Had to go
* You're wrecking out my days
* And you're wrecking out my nights
* And there's nothing I can do for now
* People think I'm mad
* If I don't seem so sad
* And there's nothing I can do for now
* Brotherly love
* I don't know what to do
* Brotherly love
* Making me miserable
* Brotherly love
* I don't know what to do
* Brotherly love
* Making me miserable
* Brotherly love
* Losing my mind